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Orpheus of the Midnight Kitchen

by Isto

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The Flintstones now are gone But they live on As multivitamins Little did they know When they started on that show That today the kids would still be chomping them But just like you and me And the fruit on every tree We all share nourishment in ways we'll never know So eat your Great Gazoo, Say your yabba dabba doo, And leave your dust behind you when you go If you play your cards right And if you say your prayers at night Someday you could be a vitamin too It might seem a bit far-fetched But with your likeness finely etched You'll bring joy and health to others when they chew The Flintstones now are gone But they live on As multivitamins Little did they know When they started on that show That today the kids would still be chomping them But just like you and me And the fruit on every tree We all share nourishment in ways we'll never know So eat your Great Gazoo, Say your yabba dabba doo, And leave your dust behind you when you go
3.
How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you clean a bar of soap? [Repeat] Who coronates the arbiters of taste? Who polices the police? Who ratifies the laws of physics? Who puts the Sun back in the East? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you clean a bar of soap? If you're collecting records You're gonna need a brush And a brush for your brush And a brush brush brush If you're collecting records Not collecting dust Better get a brush brush brush brush For your brush brush brush If you wish to throw away a garbage can, You must first empty the garbage can. Next, place the garbage can on the curb upside down, Leaving the lid on top of the inverted can. Leave a sign attached to the can that reads, in clear lettering, "For disposal" Your local sanitation workers will take care of the rest How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you clean a bar of soap? How do you clean a bar of soap? How do you clean a bar of soap? © Christopher White 2022
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I've got the world at my door If I should ever care to see it I've got the world at my door But I don't ever seem to need it Everything I own is right in here Open up the fridge and grab myself a beer But in case I ever get tired of staring at the floor I've got the world at my door I've got the world at my door But they leave me alone I've the world at my door But they know not to call me at home If someday I grow sick of staring into screens Gazing through the windows of someone else's dreams Then I'll grab a free brochure and take a walking tour I've got the world at my door I've got the world at my door Through that door is every place I've been I've got the world at my door Keep it locked, or they might come pouring in If I ever get the urge to step up on my fight Then I might just take a walk and meander down the street But till then these weary legs shall be lifted nevermore I've got the world at my door © Christopher White 2022
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Nothing beats going to the movies Nothing beats going to the movies Nothing beats going to the movies Take me to the movies right now Take me to the movies Take me to the movies Take me to the movies - take me to the movies Take me to the movies right now [REPEAT] © Christopher White 2022
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There's a purple sunset shining in my window I gaze upon a crest of crimson snow As my rambling reveries take me traipsing on the breeze Just eleven loads of dishes more to go I'm an old domestic cowboy of the kitchen If it's me that you seek, you'll find me there Far past the setting sun – where my chores are almost done By the cabinet of the tumbling tupperware The hours after dusk I spend serenely Scrubbing and attending to my nest When I go wandering room to room for the last roundup Then you'll know that I'll be coming soon to rest I'm an old domestic cowboy of the kitchen If it's me that you seek, you'll find me there Far past the setting sun – where my chores are almost done By the cabinet of the tumbling tupperware © Christopher White 2022
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The UPS man might bring you love Might bring you love - He might bring you love The UPS man might bring you love So don't forget to answer the door The UPS man might bring you hugs and kisses Bring you hugs and kisses - Bring you hugs and kisses The UPS man might bring you hugs and kisses So don't forget to answer the door Just when you feel all alone Nobody home but you The UPS man might knock on your door And take you down the avenue And then you go driving in his big, brown truck Bouncing along in his big, brown truck Handing people packages, you won't believe your luck So don't forget to answer the door - (don't forget now) Don't forget to answer the door © Christopher White 2022
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I'm going back to see my baby If she's still there, I just can't say But I know I'll find her somewhere The Northern Lights will point the way A midnight clear - a lonesome valley A crystal trench and a shroud of white A vast expanse of arctic tundra Reflecting stars and Northern Lights Someday when winter winds are blowing And the Northern Lights are at your door You may hear a stranger knocking Make him a pallet on your floor There's a road if you can find it And nobody walks it twice Think of me when you are on it And you see those Nothern Lights © Christopher White 2019
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If I only knew the meaning of my dreams If I could read the future in a plate of withered greens If I could understand the basic plot If I could find meaning in the structure of my thoughts Then I'd see the world as it really is And not through a smokescreen of overarching themes A prism of isms and shadow-beam schemes If I only knew the meaning of my dreams © Christopher White 2022
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Carrie Moonbeams was a firefly Carrie Moonbeams never wondered why The urge would come in summer to wander all about Or why her bulb would pulsate when the lights went out A gal of little intellect they say She never saw my net coming her way A cosmopolitan socialite She flittered near and far Till I brought Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar Carrie Moonbeams was a love of mine I thought we'd be together for all time But you can't catch a star and keep it for your own You can't freeze the wind and turn it into stone A summer breeze reclaims its native souls She'll only live so long even with holes My dreams were once in sight But I lost them all that night That I brought Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar Go it while you're young my merry lad The world is yours, there's pleasure to be had Just get a bobtailed bay, two-forty as his speed Get out under the moon and sow your wild seed But here's the thing, if love's your enterprise There's one truth that you must recognize By the stars that shine above You can't own the ones you love Don't bring Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar By the stars that shine above You can't own the ones you love Don't bring Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar © Christopher White 2021
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Sometimes I feel like a relic from a bygone age Like the phone booths on West End Avenue Think I'll call up the Landmark Conservancy And have myself committed Just seems to be the thing to do And if you'd care to join me, we can watch the world as it burns From the comfort of our designated status A billion years of rust An aeon of volcanic dust You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes Till we braille our tale in shale and fossilize Let's wrap ourselves in coffins, and metamorphosize You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes Pratfalls and padded walls Parasols and overalls Throngs and thralls of neanderthals Shrouds and shawls Curtains and palls You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes Till we braille our tale in shale and fossilize Let's wrap ourselves in coffins, and metamorphosize You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes © Christopher White 2021
14.
Let's take a syncopation vacation If we can find the time Let's take a syncopation vacation Dearest sweetheart of mine We've been spending too many years Singing the same old song Let's take an on-location syncopation vacation Baby let's go get gone © Christopher White 2022
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It's always sunny On Instagram Island The beach is clean And the water is clear Come with me, honey Down to Instagram Island For a weekend vacation Any time of year There are two kinds of people In this world Influencers and followers What's it gonna be? We'll take a break On Instagram Island Hashtag no filter Come along with me © Christopher White 2020
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Who's that coming down the chimney? Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf? Who's that coming down the chimney? Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf? It's so hard to plan for guests When you don't know who to expect Should I set out a glass of milk Or put the kettle on to boil? Who's that coming down the chimney? Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf? Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf? Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf? © Christopher White 2020
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Who's paying for lunch? Who's paying for lunch? Well, Venn venmoed Moe And Moe venmoed Venn Now they're both back Where they started again Who's paying for lunch? Nothing is free You've always got to pay Venn and Moe will keep paying each other Until Judgment Day Who's paying for lunch? There's no free lunch So fill up before you go There's no free lunch So fill up before you go Fill up before you go You've got to follow - follow the money You've got to follow - follow the money I know it may sound a little funny But you know, you know you've got to follow the money Who's paying for lunch? Who's paying for lunch? Well, Venn venmoed Moe And Moe venmoed Venn Now they're both back Where they started again Who's paying for lunch? © Christopher White 2021
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I went down to the midnight kitchen I found my sandwich there Laid out upon the midnight table So sweet, so cold, so fair Thought I'd bring it to the bedroom For a little rendez-vous They said, you can bring it to the bedroom But don't look back, whatever you do Stealing up the midnight staircase Sandwich cradled in my arms Thought I heard an angel chorus Turned around and my poor sandwich was gone When I die, you can lay my body On a six-foot hoagy roll The rats may use my bones for toothpicks While the junk men claim my soul She was a dear old sandwich Best sandwich that I ever had She was a dear old sandwich Best sandwich that I ever had © Christopher White 2022
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Pantalon 02:36
Pantalon, Pantalon That's how they say pants in France Pantalon, Pantalon That's how they say pants in France Pantalon, Pantalon That's how they say pants in France Pantalon, Pantalon That's how they say pants in France Dance, cowboy, dance [Repeat] © Christopher White 2021
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Some people party by going out on weekends I party by staying home Some people socialize in great big groups I prefer to be social alone I walk to the kitchen do the midnight dance I visit the fridge in my underpants Nobody knows - nobody sees Nobody knows but me In the echo chamber of my head There's a refrigerator tamboura I dance upon its soothing drone - when I sing to you As I ramble this lonesome canyon From the cutting board to the toaster oven My thoughts ever turn to you You turn me on, I'm a microwave You turn me on, I'm a microwave You turn me on, I'm a microwave You turn me on, I'm a microwave You know that you do Baby, I love you from the bottom of my heart But I can't write the kind of love songs others do I just hope that you believe me when I say that I love you Either way, we both know this much is true: You turn me on, I'm a microwave You turn me on, I'm a microwave You turn me on, I'm a microwave You turn me on, I'm a microwave You know that you do © Christopher White 2022
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When I was a little boy The old maestro said to me When you sing a joyful song You've got to sing it merrily If you want to cause the world to cry Start with the tears that are in your eye And if you want a bankbook like Adele's Just remember, sincerity sells Sincerity sells Sincerity sells If you want to make it in this business, yes Just remember sincerity sells Think of Marlon Brando A great method actor they say When he'd get into character He always put a lot of dough away If you want to make the big-time bucks Say it like you mean it, that's the crux Whether peddling lux'ry goods, or wooing mademoiselles Just remember, sincerity sells Sincerity sells Sincerity sells If you want to make it in this business, yes Just remember sincerity sells Song plugger on the bowery-o Cavorting with the old-time throng Soft lights and sweet music Say it with a song Whether sweating on the piano keys or standing on the bar If you're not feeling it, you won't get far From the darkest brothels to the best hotels Remember, sincerity sells Sincerity sells Sincerity sells If you want to make it in this business, yes Just remember sincerity sells © Christopher White 2021
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"I went to the basement because I wished to live deliberately, To front only the essential facts of life, And see if I could not learn what it had to teach, And not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." (Adapted from Thoreau) © Christopher White 2022
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We're in the basement We're in the basement And we're singing in a flower garden Flower garden in the basement © Albert White, Maxwell White and Christopher White 2022
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credits

released March 18, 2022

All music composed, performed and recorded by Christopher White ("Isto"), except for "We're in the Basement," which was composed and performed by Albert White, Maxwell White, and Christopher White.

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Isto Newark, New Jersey

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