1. |
For Ellen (9-27-17)
01:27
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2. |
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The Flintstones now are gone
But they live on
As multivitamins
Little did they know
When they started on that show
That today the kids would still be chomping them
But just like you and me
And the fruit on every tree
We all share nourishment in ways we'll never know
So eat your Great Gazoo,
Say your yabba dabba doo,
And leave your dust behind you when you go
If you play your cards right
And if you say your prayers at night
Someday you could be a vitamin too
It might seem a bit far-fetched
But with your likeness finely etched
You'll bring joy and health to others when they chew
The Flintstones now are gone
But they live on
As multivitamins
Little did they know
When they started on that show
That today the kids would still be chomping them
But just like you and me
And the fruit on every tree
We all share nourishment in ways we'll never know
So eat your Great Gazoo,
Say your yabba dabba doo,
And leave your dust behind you when you go
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3. |
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How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you clean a bar of soap? [Repeat]
Who coronates the arbiters of taste?
Who polices the police?
Who ratifies the laws of physics?
Who puts the Sun back in the East?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you clean a bar of soap?
If you're collecting records
You're gonna need a brush
And a brush for your brush
And a brush brush brush
If you're collecting records
Not collecting dust
Better get a brush brush brush brush
For your brush brush brush
If you wish to throw away a garbage can,
You must first empty the garbage can.
Next, place the garbage can on the curb upside down,
Leaving the lid on top of the inverted can.
Leave a sign attached to the can that reads,
in clear lettering,
"For disposal"
Your local sanitation workers will take care of the rest
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you clean a bar of soap?
How do you clean a bar of soap?
How do you clean a bar of soap?
© Christopher White 2022
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4. |
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I've got the world at my door
If I should ever care to see it
I've got the world at my door
But I don't ever seem to need it
Everything I own is right in here
Open up the fridge and grab myself a beer
But in case I ever get tired of staring at the floor
I've got the world at my door
I've got the world at my door
But they leave me alone
I've the world at my door
But they know not to call me at home
If someday I grow sick of staring into screens
Gazing through the windows of someone else's dreams
Then I'll grab a free brochure and take a walking tour
I've got the world at my door
I've got the world at my door
Through that door is every place I've been
I've got the world at my door
Keep it locked, or they might come pouring in
If I ever get the urge to step up on my fight
Then I might just take a walk and meander down the street
But till then these weary legs shall be lifted nevermore
I've got the world at my door
© Christopher White 2022
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5. |
Take Me to the Movies
02:55
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Nothing beats going to the movies
Nothing beats going to the movies
Nothing beats going to the movies
Take me to the movies right now
Take me to the movies
Take me to the movies
Take me to the movies - take me to the movies
Take me to the movies right now
[REPEAT]
© Christopher White 2022
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6. |
Tumbling Tupperware
01:41
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There's a purple sunset shining in my window
I gaze upon a crest of crimson snow
As my rambling reveries take me traipsing on the breeze
Just eleven loads of dishes more to go
I'm an old domestic cowboy of the kitchen
If it's me that you seek, you'll find me there
Far past the setting sun – where my chores are almost done
By the cabinet of the tumbling tupperware
The hours after dusk I spend serenely
Scrubbing and attending to my nest
When I go wandering room to room for the last roundup
Then you'll know that I'll be coming soon to rest
I'm an old domestic cowboy of the kitchen
If it's me that you seek, you'll find me there
Far past the setting sun – where my chores are almost done
By the cabinet of the tumbling tupperware
© Christopher White 2022
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7. |
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The UPS man might bring you love
Might bring you love - He might bring you love
The UPS man might bring you love
So don't forget to answer the door
The UPS man might bring you hugs and kisses
Bring you hugs and kisses - Bring you hugs and kisses
The UPS man might bring you hugs and kisses
So don't forget to answer the door
Just when you feel all alone
Nobody home but you
The UPS man might knock on your door
And take you down the avenue
And then you go driving in his big, brown truck
Bouncing along in his big, brown truck
Handing people packages, you won't believe your luck
So don't forget to answer the door - (don't forget now)
Don't forget to answer the door
© Christopher White 2022
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8. |
From Among the Dead
01:19
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9. |
Northern Lights
03:43
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I'm going back to see my baby
If she's still there, I just can't say
But I know I'll find her somewhere
The Northern Lights will point the way
A midnight clear - a lonesome valley
A crystal trench and a shroud of white
A vast expanse of arctic tundra
Reflecting stars and Northern Lights
Someday when winter winds are blowing
And the Northern Lights are at your door
You may hear a stranger knocking
Make him a pallet on your floor
There's a road if you can find it
And nobody walks it twice
Think of me when you are on it
And you see those Nothern Lights
© Christopher White 2019
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10. |
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If I only knew the meaning of my dreams
If I could read the future in a plate of withered greens
If I could understand the basic plot
If I could find meaning in the structure of my thoughts
Then I'd see the world as it really is
And not through a smokescreen of overarching themes
A prism of isms and shadow-beam schemes
If I only knew the meaning of my dreams
© Christopher White 2022
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11. |
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12. |
Carrie Moonbeams
03:14
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Carrie Moonbeams was a firefly
Carrie Moonbeams never wondered why
The urge would come in summer to wander all about
Or why her bulb would pulsate when the lights went out
A gal of little intellect they say
She never saw my net coming her way
A cosmopolitan socialite
She flittered near and far
Till I brought Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar
Carrie Moonbeams was a love of mine
I thought we'd be together for all time
But you can't catch a star and keep it for your own
You can't freeze the wind and turn it into stone
A summer breeze reclaims its native souls
She'll only live so long even with holes
My dreams were once in sight
But I lost them all that night
That I brought Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar
Go it while you're young my merry lad
The world is yours, there's pleasure to be had
Just get a bobtailed bay, two-forty as his speed
Get out under the moon and sow your wild seed
But here's the thing, if love's your enterprise
There's one truth that you must recognize
By the stars that shine above
You can't own the ones you love
Don't bring Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar
By the stars that shine above
You can't own the ones you love
Don't bring Carrie Moonbeams home in a jar
© Christopher White 2021
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13. |
Long Goodbyes
02:26
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Sometimes I feel like a relic from a bygone age
Like the phone booths on West End Avenue
Think I'll call up the Landmark Conservancy
And have myself committed
Just seems to be the thing to do
And if you'd care to join me, we can watch the world as it burns
From the comfort of our designated status
A billion years of rust
An aeon of volcanic dust
You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes
Till we braille our tale in shale and fossilize
Let's wrap ourselves in coffins, and metamorphosize
You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes
Pratfalls and padded walls
Parasols and overalls
Throngs and thralls of neanderthals
Shrouds and shawls
Curtains and palls
You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes
Till we braille our tale in shale and fossilize
Let's wrap ourselves in coffins, and metamorphosize
You know, life's just a series of long goodbyes
© Christopher White 2021
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14. |
Syncopation Vacation
02:29
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Let's take a syncopation vacation
If we can find the time
Let's take a syncopation vacation
Dearest sweetheart of mine
We've been spending too many years
Singing the same old song
Let's take an on-location syncopation vacation
Baby let's go get gone
© Christopher White 2022
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15. |
Delaware Water Gap Waltz
03:55
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16. |
Instagram Island
02:38
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It's always sunny
On Instagram Island
The beach is clean
And the water is clear
Come with me, honey
Down to Instagram Island
For a weekend vacation
Any time of year
There are two kinds of people
In this world
Influencers and followers
What's it gonna be?
We'll take a break
On Instagram Island
Hashtag no filter
Come along with me
© Christopher White 2020
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17. |
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Who's that coming down the chimney?
Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf?
Who's that coming down the chimney?
Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf?
It's so hard to plan for guests
When you don't know who to expect
Should I set out a glass of milk
Or put the kettle on to boil?
Who's that coming down the chimney?
Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf?
Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf?
Is that St. Nick or the Big Bad Wolf?
© Christopher White 2020
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18. |
Who's Paying for Lunch?
04:09
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Who's paying for lunch?
Who's paying for lunch?
Well, Venn venmoed Moe
And Moe venmoed Venn
Now they're both back
Where they started again
Who's paying for lunch?
Nothing is free
You've always got to pay
Venn and Moe will keep paying each other
Until Judgment Day
Who's paying for lunch?
There's no free lunch
So fill up before you go
There's no free lunch
So fill up before you go
Fill up before you go
You've got to follow - follow the money
You've got to follow - follow the money
I know it may sound a little funny
But you know, you know you've got to follow the money
Who's paying for lunch?
Who's paying for lunch?
Well, Venn venmoed Moe
And Moe venmoed Venn
Now they're both back
Where they started again
Who's paying for lunch?
© Christopher White 2021
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19. |
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I went down to the midnight kitchen
I found my sandwich there
Laid out upon the midnight table
So sweet, so cold, so fair
Thought I'd bring it to the bedroom
For a little rendez-vous
They said, you can bring it to the bedroom
But don't look back, whatever you do
Stealing up the midnight staircase
Sandwich cradled in my arms
Thought I heard an angel chorus
Turned around and my poor sandwich was gone
When I die, you can lay my body
On a six-foot hoagy roll
The rats may use my bones for toothpicks
While the junk men claim my soul
She was a dear old sandwich
Best sandwich that I ever had
She was a dear old sandwich
Best sandwich that I ever had
© Christopher White 2022
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20. |
Pantalon
02:36
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Pantalon, Pantalon
That's how they say pants in France
Pantalon, Pantalon
That's how they say pants in France
Pantalon, Pantalon
That's how they say pants in France
Pantalon, Pantalon
That's how they say pants in France
Dance, cowboy, dance
[Repeat]
© Christopher White 2021
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21. |
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Some people party by going out on weekends
I party by staying home
Some people socialize in great big groups
I prefer to be social alone
I walk to the kitchen do the midnight dance
I visit the fridge in my underpants
Nobody knows - nobody sees
Nobody knows but me
In the echo chamber of my head
There's a refrigerator tamboura
I dance upon its soothing drone - when I sing to you
As I ramble this lonesome canyon
From the cutting board to the toaster oven
My thoughts ever turn to you
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You know that you do
Baby, I love you from the bottom of my heart
But I can't write the kind of love songs others do
I just hope that you believe me when I say that I love you
Either way, we both know this much is true:
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You turn me on, I'm a microwave
You know that you do
© Christopher White 2022
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22. |
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23. |
Sincerity Sells
03:31
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When I was a little boy
The old maestro said to me
When you sing a joyful song
You've got to sing it merrily
If you want to cause the world to cry
Start with the tears that are in your eye
And if you want a bankbook like Adele's
Just remember, sincerity sells
Sincerity sells
Sincerity sells
If you want to make it in this business, yes
Just remember sincerity sells
Think of Marlon Brando
A great method actor they say
When he'd get into character
He always put a lot of dough away
If you want to make the big-time bucks
Say it like you mean it, that's the crux
Whether peddling lux'ry goods, or wooing mademoiselles
Just remember, sincerity sells
Sincerity sells
Sincerity sells
If you want to make it in this business, yes
Just remember sincerity sells
Song plugger on the bowery-o
Cavorting with the old-time throng
Soft lights and sweet music
Say it with a song
Whether sweating on the piano keys or standing on the bar
If you're not feeling it, you won't get far
From the darkest brothels to the best hotels
Remember, sincerity sells
Sincerity sells
Sincerity sells
If you want to make it in this business, yes
Just remember sincerity sells
© Christopher White 2021
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24. |
I Went to the Basement
01:30
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"I went to the basement because I wished to live deliberately,
To front only the essential facts of life,
And see if I could not learn what it had to teach,
And not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
(Adapted from Thoreau)
© Christopher White 2022
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25. |
We're in the Basement
01:33
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We're in the basement
We're in the basement
And we're singing in a flower garden
Flower garden in the basement
© Albert White, Maxwell White and Christopher White 2022
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26. |
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27. |
Notre Dame (4-14-00)
10:34
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